I admire, even revere them (Mother Theresa and St. Ignatius of Loyola), and pray that some day I will attain something like the holy simplicity they embody. For now, all I can muster is a daily (and erratic at that) process of "centering" my life on God. I want my life to be integrated in the one true reality of a God who knows everything about me and desires for me only the good. I want to view all the distractions of my day from the perspective of eternity. I want to abandon myself to a God who can elevate me beyond the tyranny of my self. I will never be free from evil, or from distractions, but I pray that I can be freed from the anxiety and unrest that crowd in with them.
In the morning I ask for the grace to live for God alone, and yet when the phone rings with a message that strokes my ego, or when I open a letter from an irate reader, I find myself slipping back - no, tumbling back - to a self consciousness in which other people, or circumstances, determine my worth and my serenity. I sense my need for transformation and keep going only because that sense is the one sure basis for potential change.
- 'Reaching for the Invisible God', Chapter 6: Living in Faith, by Philip Yancey
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